aglioagogo

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:52:59 GMT

my life as a dichotomy.

should i stay or should i go?

in the cold cold night.

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 17:11:12 GMT

homeward.

poppies in memory of italy

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:41:40 GMT

death is a crazy concept, i'm trying so hard to grasp. too hard maybe, i dont think that concept is something that's supposed to be understood.

my grandmother used to say that death comes in threes...well one, two... i'm trying not to anticipate the third.

five days til the crazy train.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 23:07:13 GMT

two days.
three trains going north/east.
one train going west.
one train returning.

too many friends, too far away.

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 02:01:33 GMT

my emotions are in a constant state of chaos.

oh, kittentits.

terrible friend.

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 01:47:14 GMT

i noticed that i am no longer close to any of the people i wish i was still close with. i'm trying to work on it, but who knows if it will be the same.

dichotomy.

Wed, 30 May 2007 21:02:48 GMT

vermont is the root of all happiness (and so are the people), i've come to realize in the past few years. i've also realized that work is oppressing and constantly feeling like i need to accomplish a degree or something in order to have something to fall back on in the future, is a horrible way of feeling and thinking.

now marietta, lets work on it.

p.s. kody and i have a sweet garden, and i plan on building a fort while he's away and its gonna be tough.

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 22:51:55 GMT

it seems that every night i await sleep, cause thats the only time i feel halfway content.

man i am so grateful i have friends who will booty dance with me.

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 04:57:25 GMT

another job is starting this week.

Alaska here i come!

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:07:42 GMT

...it seems my luck is changing.

home sweet home.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 07:36:48 GMT

i started making art again. next step is catching up with letters. home is the sweetest and the most stressful place in the world...finding a job is just as difficult. i have an interview next week for a summer camp. i think that i would enjoy that.

end of existence.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 05:19:30 GMT

i wish i could have heard him laugh one last time, or seen him smile or heard him sing. i cant wish about things that didnt happen, he laughed so much and smiled and sang even if it wasnt very good. i have to remember that he did do those things...and although the last days i saw him, he was unconcious and pumped full of drugs, he knew i was there, he knew i was running my fingers through his hair, and i hope that he died happy. its funny and weird how people can be around one minute and gone the next.

strange how death is.

at least he's no longer in any pain.

i love you nono.

driving makes you crazy.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 03:52:16 GMT

i'm finally back home. its crazy...i drove 18 hours straight...it was intense. being home is good, it feels strange, and familiar, and comforting. seeing people after not sleeping for over 24 hours is the best feeling ever. i dont know. my grandfathers dying and its crazy and sad...its something ive dealt with though, so its something i'm used to...i'm at my aunts house and she just gave me her old fiddle...now i have two... it has a crack in it, and needs fine tuners and a bridge, but i'm gonna bring it to a violin shop on monday and get it looked at, it's pretty awesome. i also got two fiddle books. hotttt...
i miss stascha terribly.

pissin in a cup.

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 06:42:33 GMT

anus.

awe...ski resorts.

winter wonderland...or cabin fever.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 18:39:25 GMT

i'm in colorado, visiting an old friend that throughout my travels have thought and missed often. i'm staying in a big log cabin with her and some older english fellows. i'm leaving tomorrow for the city of denver, thats gonna be a change. then i'm off to the northeast, my homeland...to endure an awkward day with family i never see then to spend a few days alongside the atlantic ocean...then home to the ones i love.
during the last few months i've realized that the best part about travelling is missing people, and meeting more people to miss. its awkward to be away from stascha, it tears a hole into my soul, kind of in the same way that missing kody hurts my soul. she's one of those people i dont ever expect to be away from...and then you sort of take your time together for granted sometimes. i dont know. seeing lizzie is good, but it makes me feel homesick moreso than i have the entire time ive been gone. soon enough though...soon enough.

i hope its snowing when i get home. cause boy do i love it.

when the forest dries up.

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:32:08 GMT

this place is magical and i can feel it rushing through my veins. i've realized that everyplace i go is just as magical and beautiful as here. trees and life is beautiful. i'm feeling disconnected with the city and the rushing around me, retreating home is starting to feel like a deadline, but i have to get home sooner rather than later so that my projects can be successful.

eating the cream just isnt the same without you.

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 00:25:15 GMT

ive been without my companion for just under 4 days and its already made my heartache. being alone is a really scary thing. but its something that i have to learn to do. and its something i want to learn to do. its exciting. im going to denver on wednesday. it should be really good to see lizzie.

druglord

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 01:00:30 GMT

hmm...cancer

big pimpin'

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 07:15:57 GMT

waterworld

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 03:28:34 GMT

lizzie will be in colorado in a matter of weeks...oh my its going to be amazing.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 04:43:24 GMT

i'm okay,

the fiddle is coming along slowly but surely...man am i so pumped.

sally is leaving tomorrow and i am going to miss her terribly.

that ol'timey musics gotta hold of my heart.

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 05:38:44 GMT

i got a fiddle yesterday...now i will spend every moment my hand isnt cramped learning the damn thing. i can only imagine the despair its going to cause me.

when i get home i'm making matt teach me everything he knows.

growing from the past.

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 04:25:55 GMT

its hard to write this. i dont even understand why i'm choosing to write this in here...maybe hoping she'll read it, but i feel that all that will happen is laughter and mockery.

i recently got our friendship tattoo covered up, it was an extremely big step in trying to get over our relationship ending. i wish i had known what happened, why five years of friendship was abruptly terminated, but i need to stop thinking about why. its not helping me grow to continuously think about the past. but its so hard when laura comes into my mind just about everyday. its crazy how two years and 3000 miles apart doesnt change my feelings towards her. i still love her dearly and miss how awesome our friendship was.

i just wish that there was some conclusion to the story, something to validate it ending...the only reason i assumed was that i wasnt punk enough. but who knows if thats valid or not. i wish that i knew how she was doing, what kind of projects shes been involved with. where she is...

but i s'pose i'm in a good place now, i'm away from home, spending time with beautiful people. there is no moving back just moving forward.

all i need now is a god damn coyote hide so i can make a princess mononoke cape and ride wolves through the forest. hot damn.

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 01:05:42 GMT

i'm in tucson. i'm overwhelmed with excitement.

with yer feet in the air and yer head on the ground.

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:36:32 GMT

i'll be out of minnesota soon. and in the dessert, where there's warm days, cold nights, and dry air. oh paradise.